UGGh! Enough Already! An editorial on a footwear faux-pas.

I wish I had a nickle for every time I’ve seen this. A beautiful young woman is walking down the street and (no disrespect to my wife) I couldn’t help but notice as she approached. She had gorgeous, shiny, dark hair, well fitted sunglasses (not those huge truck windows), a nice shirt and jacket, and dark jeans that really complimented her legs. But on her feet…*sound of jumping record needle*…

Why do girls always take the lazy way out and insist on wearing these things?

For the past few years this UGG boot trend has really gotten out of control, and I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. There are all kinds of blogs and Facebook groups made by people who absolutely hate these things, yet these fuggly boots are everywhere. I even saw girls wearing them in Hawaii! Their feet probably smell like the asses of the sheep from which those horrid boots are made.
To quote a friend of mine: “Just when you thought Crocs were the ugliest fashion footwear, someone watches Napoleon Dynamite and thinks ‘Hey, why not oversized fabric boots?’”. My wife (who thankfully refuses to conform to this footwear faux pas) is a big fan of the TV show What Not to Wear and she says “You know something’s a fashion no-no when that show won’t even go near them.”

People who like these boots always claim “they’re so comfy”, “they keep my feet warm” and “they’re so cute”. No. They’re not. They’re also not very good for your feet or your back since every pair out there has a tendency to lean out to the sides and spill over the sole causing the wearer to walk with a funny shuffle. They might keep your feet warm, but I highly doubt they are as waterproof as they claim to be, especially the ones that look like granny’s knitted house slippers.

Even more attractive is when girls wear these boots with baggy sweatpants half tucked into them, usually with some ridiculous word like “Juicy” or the name of their school printed on the ass. I’ve even seen girls wearing them with those short pants that flare out and cut off just above the boot exposing about an inch of leg. Correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but I always thought you wanted to make your butts and legs look slimmer and not like the back end of a Mack dump truck.
In my research for this editorial, I even discovered that they make UGGs for Men?!? Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever catch me in a pair of UGGs you have permission to bitch slap me into next week. It’s bad enough some people put them on their dogs.In summary, I’m not going to tell people what not to wear, so if you’re happy wearing lazy people’s footwear, go right ahead. After all, you’re not alone. Hollywood celebrities wear them too. Just remember that people are going to see you in them.


The Wandering Oak

All images courtesy of public domain sites on the world wide web.