I woke up feeling a little down this morning and there really isn't a single reason why. It's more like a combination of little reasons that are starting to add up. Between working late and battling a nasty cold, this past couple of weeks has really kicked my ass both physically and mentally. I think the mental part is the worst. I can adapt to the work and find what I do to be very challenging yet rewarding and a great way to stay in shape. Trust me, you could not be a big fat-ass and do my job. As my sister in law put it, it's the isolation that can get to you. She was right.
I found myself thinking about all the things I'm missing out on and somehow that led me into thinking about things I miss in general.
• I miss Megan, my wife. Working late means I hardly get to see her during the week and it's starting to get to us. I know that some couples out there face tougher separations and sometimes for long stretches, but we're not used to this. I guess the silver lining is that the time we are together is that much more meaningful. I surprised her with a rose last week and it almost made her cry.
• I miss my friends. Actually, even before this late shift came about I found myself missing a lot of my friends. I miss my friends in Edmonton. It's taking me a long time to meet people and make friends here in Victoria that are not work friends. Not that my work friends aren't good friends, believe me I think very highly of them, but I think you can understand the value of non work friends.
• I miss my friends all over the world that I've met either through my blogs or through mutual friends on Facebook. Though I haven't met most of you in person I do think of you as friends and miss the good old days when we all used to randomly comment on each other's blogs and photos. That made it fun! I guess we're all busy these days. Actually I blame Facebook and all the silly games and applications - and the fact that people have huge friend lists that make it hard to keep up with everyone. Facebook only shows what it wants so a lot of people's postings go unnoticed.
• I miss my great grandmother. She passed in the summer of 2008, but I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. She's the one who taught me how to be a proper gentleman, to respect women, how to make the best and the most of what I have, and to know the value of good work and a well earned pay cheque. Rest In Peace, Grandma Archer.
• I miss Hawaii. I'd go back there in a heartbeat if we weren't saving to buy a home. Sure Victoria's had a mild winter and an early spring, but it's still cool outside and this week it's supposed to be cloudy and rainy all week. I know it rains in Hawaii too, but at least down there you can still walk around in shorts and a t-shirt.
• I miss quality scripted television. Not really a reason for being down, but I just thought I'd throw it in here. Right now Chuck, Legend of the Seeker, and that sitcom Modern Family are really the only good scripted shows out there - at least that I like (and that doesn't include my animated favorites like the Simpsons and Family Guy etc.). Well there is LOST, which I also really like, but who really knows what the heck is going on there anymore? Am I right people?
• I guess most of all I miss being that happy person that rarely ever gets pissed off over anything. The guy that always has the right thing to say at the right time and usually makes everyone laugh, even in difficult situations. Sure I get laughs at work and have the occasional wise-cracking comment on someone's Facebook post, but people who know me well can tell you I used to be so much livelier. Nowadays I curse like a sailor when I run out of masking tape at work (not loudly, don't worry) or find myself criticizing the smallest little things and that's not who I am.
Don't worry my friends, this will pass. I'm not one of those people who falls so deep into depression that can I could never be saved and this certainly isn't a cry for help or attention. I wouldn't even say I'm depressed. I've just been in a bit of a rut lately and I'm glad I got this off my chest. I want to end today's post by looking at the silver lining. I've had a lot of time to play my guitar and to finally finish a little project that I've been working on all winter. The project is still a surprise for someone, so I won't say what it is, but I've poured a lot of my heart and soul into it and it feels so good to finally be finished.
So now I've got to get ready to head off to work. Hey, at least I get to drive cool machines! Thanks for reading this, and to my friends who have expressed concern I also thank you. It means a lot to me to know that people really do care.
I promise my next post will be a fun one!
The Wandering Oak