Thursday, March 26, 2009

Twilighty Twits

Two 'twends' I can't comprehend these days are Twilight and Twitter. I'm not going to rant on either one or tell people to stop following these twends, I'm just simply saying I just don't get the appeal.
Well lucky for me the intertron is a great source of other people's thoughts and feelings on the subjects and I happened to find a couple of links that I thought I'd share.
Link the first. Every girl loves that hunky lead actor from Twilight, right? Well check this out:



Someone get that kid some Axe.


And then there's Twitter, a glorified status message board if you ask me. Doesn't anyone call anyone or write letters anymore? When I was younger my phone had a really long curly cord that wrapped around everything as I wandered around the house talking to my girlfriend, and I'm not even that old! Again, this isn't a rant, but I can relate to the main character in this particular video:




So there you go. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get down to the telegraph office before it closes.

The Wandering Oak

Next week: UGG Boots and why they're just wrong.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Happy Spring!

I almost forgot!
Today is the first day of Spring, and it's finally starting to look like it around Victoria. So, for a special bonus today here are a few photos I took within the past couple of days. I won't caption them. I'll simply let them speak for themselves.



Happy Spring everyone!

The Irish Blonde In The Casino (A funny and clean joke)

Hi readers,
It's been a while since I've posted here and for lack of something better, how about a joke. My step father in law (if that makes sense - my wife's mother's second husband) is a never ending source of funny pictures, jokes, and stories and he sent us this joke late last night. I know St. Patrick's Day was a few days ago, but I still think it's funny enough to post.
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the Atlantic City casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered,
'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'
MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are drunks;
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.
Have a great weekend!

Monday, March 9, 2009

So How About That Weather?

The weather around Victoria has really been something over the past few days. Let me show you what I mean.
I took this photo on Friday March 6th. It was a bright, sunny day, and about 6 to 8 degrees Celcius, depending on how close you were to the water.

I even found some crocuses popping up here and there and I was sure Spring was finally here.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up to this on Monday morning...

The snow continued for a few more hours...

It looked like it was going to be doom and gloom all day, but by about 5:00pm, the blue sky returned.

The clear sky is nice and all, but there's a blast of cold air coming down from Alaska that's going to take us back below freezing again. How does that expression go? If you don't like the weather...

Now, for my friends in the rest of Canada, parts of the USA, and any other chilly corner of the world this time of year, this weather may seem like nothing but I lived on the prairies for about 20 of my 32 years and I moved to Victoria to get away from cold weather. Normal temperatures for this time of year are highs around 10 C and lows of around 3 C. It's barely above Zero as I write this and getting colder.

Quite simply, I just don't like it. Bring on spring and summer!!!

The Wandering Oak

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Merlin's Safe Haven

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Meet Merlin, our 10-year-old American Short hair Tabby.

My wife and I have been Merlin's support staff since he was a tiny 8 week old kitten. Like many cats, Merlin is half Indiana Jones and half Chicken Little. He can be very adventurous and has to explore any open cupboard or empty cardboard box, but the instant something frightens him (such as the garbage/recycling trucks, vacuum cleaner, or loud house guests) he'll run and hide until the coast is clear.
His usual safe haven is high atop the cupboard above the fridge. He's done this in every apartment we've lived in since he was a kitten so we try to keep a clear path for him. Three quick hops - counter, fridge, cupboard - and he's safe.

I must admit, there have been times in my life when I've envied our cat. Sometimes it would be nice to have a safe place to run and hide out for a little while when life gets loud and scary.

The Wandering Oak

Monday, March 2, 2009

My Secret Identity is Domesticated Man

Hey all,
Unfortunately, due to seasonal winter layoffs I'm not working all that much these days, but that doesn't mean I'm completely useless around the home. And my hard working wife certainly appreciates it. If it was the other way around she would do the same, and when we're both working we split the household chores. Here's a list of things I've done today, in chronological order, and ALL of it before noon!


  • Paid rent. Since the first was on a Sunday we're given a day's grace.

  • Cleaned and replaced the cat litter. Not just the daily scoop, but I mean a full clean and scrub of the litter pan. Then I took the old litter out to the trash bin in the parking lot.

  • Vacuumed the entire apartment including the couch.

  • Dishes - including wiping down the counters.

  • Folded and put away the laundry that my wife did on the weekend.

  • Cleaned the Brita water pitcher and replaced the filter. The little indicator started blinking last night.


I only stopped here and there to make a cup of coffee, have breakfast, shower, and check facebook. If I was a super hero my secret identity would be Domesticated Man. Sure I don't wear a cape or a mask, and I don't have a fancy armored car loaded with cool gadgets and weapons, but I do have a functional pair of yellow rubber gloves.


Maybe instead of a bat symbol spotlight we can use a giant soap bubble. That might be fun.

Domesticated Man AWAAaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

The Wandering Oak.

PS: Completely unrelated; I've changed my screen name to match the blog name. Quercus Wanderus was just something I was trying out, but being called Q didn't feel right to me. (No offense to anyone intended) Besides, who speaks Latin these days anyway?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Apartment Life Sucks

Hello again,
Like many young married couples my wife and I are saving up to buy our first home, hopefully within the next couple of years, but until that time we live in a spacious one bedroom apartment here in Victoria. It's a nice enough apartment, don't get me wrong (hardwood floors, clean building, good location, on a bus route, reasonable rent, and a friendly caretaker) but, as I'm sure many of you can agree, there are some things about apartment life that just suck no matter how nice your apartment is.
It seems that no matter when I want to have a shower someone else has the same idea and then it becomes a fight to maintain a consistent water temperature. The nice thing is that I live directly above the boiler room so I get the hot water first, but when the water is hot enough to blister the paint off the walls that's too hot! So I ever so slightly turn the hot down - and I mean just a tiny fraction of a turn people - and suddenly the water becomes so cold certain parts of my anatomy instantly disappear! I don't even think Mariah Carey could hit the high notes I hit when that happens!
I wish I could get these people back by starting a load of laundry, but unfortunately my apartment does not come with in suite machines so I have to go downstairs and use the common laundry room. This can sometimes be another adventure. First of all there are only 3 washers and 3 dryers. Of course there's always one machine that doesn't work as well as the others and after a while you start to strategize and try to time your laundry perfectly to take advantage of the good machines. It would be nice if the other tenants knew how to play this game but instead they come in willy nilly, take up all of the machines and seem to always forget they're doing laundry. I'm never comfortable with handling other people's laundry.
Perhaps even more unsettling is when someone can't wait and removes my laundry from the machine the second the cycle stops. I do my best to be in the room a minute before the end of the cycle, but sometimes things happen and I'm a few minutes late. By the time I get downstairs all of my laundry is in a big pile on the counter- beside my basket!
I could probably do an entire post about just laundry, and I know so many people that have similar complaints, but then you folks may get as bored as the Maytag Repair Man. Suffice it to say those of you who happen to have your own machines don't know how lucky you are.
I remember once hearing a famous Aboriginal author talking about how at one point in time his people lived in villages where everyone knew and respected each other and that nowadays nobody even knows who's living on the other side of the wall and he's really got a point. TV sitcoms would have you believe that everyone knows everyone else in their building, but it's just not like that for most people these days. All you get are fleeting glimpses of people quickly shuffling up and down the hallway before they disappear into their suite and hastily slam the deadbolt into place.
Some of my neighbors seem like nice enough people and I probably would get along with them, but in this day and age people just don't randomly knock on their neighbor's doors and invite themselves into their lives. Idle small talk when you meet while taking out the garbage is about as far as it goes these days.
Of course then there are those people in the building that can just get on your nerves. The couple fighting across the hall, the stuffy old woman who bathes in perfume and gives everyone a dirty scrutinizing look as they come in and out of the building, the person who's always doing laundry but seems to own only one outfit, and the guy who can't afford to fix his crappy car and wakes the building up bright and early with his noisy engine, squeaky brakes, and terrible power steering. Did I mention my balcony faces the parking lot?
Now I know that when I eventually own my own place there may be other issues with neighbors, but as long as I can have a nice shower, do laundry at my own pace, and not hear the upstairs neighbors walking around or -ahem- expressing their physical love for each other, then I'll be happy.
Quercus
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